What the hell am I doing?

Hello World of Blogging!

I’m new.

Don’t judge.

Not so long ago, I was scrolling endlessly through Pinterest because, let’s face it, I’m a female and that’s what we do.  And I came across one quote that resonated with me.  I read it, thought ‘hmm’ and scrolled on.  Later that day it crossed my mind again so I found it and saved it to my phone. When the day came that I deemed my lock-screen background to be outdated… This became it. (See picture below)

I didn’t really pay attention to it again until a week or two later when something pissed me off at work. Typical.  Who doesn’t get mad at work?

My phone buzzed on my desk and I look down to see a text from ‘El Guapo’. El Guapo is my husband. It means the handsome one in Spanish. If you didn’t know that then culture yourself. Just kidding. And no we are not Spanish, I just like to laugh.

Anyway…I noticed my recently new background on my phone and it hit me. “What the hell am I doing?”

I literally sat there like a dink and probably stared at the wall for a good 5 minutes (Luckily no one walked into my office during this time or they probably would have thought I was sleeping with my eyes open).  A rush of about 78 questions went through my mind.

“Why am I not happy when I wake up each morning?”

“Why am I not using my degree?”  (Bachelor’s of Science in Kinesiology from Miami University of Ohio. Go Redhawks!)

“Why am I allowing myself to be stressed out ALL THE TIME?”

“Why do I not sleep?”

“Why can’t I be like @nataliejillfit?”  (Who is totally fabulous by the way and I love following her on all social media.) You can like her on facebook here —> www.facebook.com/nataliejillfit   and on Instagram @nataliejillfit.

So.. back on track.  Basically, I sat there and questioned every professional decision that I had ever made. Which lead me to really second guess myself.  I got online, google to be exact, and typed in the well-known acronym in the fitness industry, ACE. After much indecisiveness and support from El Guapo, I purchased the materials to start studying to become a CPT. That’s Certified Personal Trainer to those who don’t know.

Everyone is like “Yay!  You will love it!” and “That’s so exciting!!”. And I agree, it’s exciting.  But let me get through this lump in my throat before we get all rainbows and sunshine. This is going to take a lot.

Let me break this down for you…

Two school age children, and currently trying for more. One El Guapo. Bills. Two dogs (might as well be 10 because one is a baby A-hole right now). One full-time job. Bills. Kids activities (football, baseball, basketball, art club, homework, choir, swimming.. to name a few).  Bills. Travel…    I can keep going but to save you a headache, I will stop. These are just a few things that immediately flashed before my eyes when I considered a major change in my life…

Because change is scary… like Whoa.

The moral of the story is… “Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.”

My answer was clearly a big ‘Nope’ so lets see if I can document my journey to making it a ‘Yes’.  As cheesy as that sounds. It won’t be tomorrow, it won’t be next month, but one day.

Until Next Time,