So, lets set the scene. I’m approximately 34 months pregnant (or so I felt like it). I’m emotional. I’m bloated. I’m exhausted. I’m sitting at work, in my last weeks prior to maternity leave and I get a call from one of the sweetest co-workers ever. Obviously regarding work items, but then transitioned into small talk as well.
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Are you ready for baby?’
‘If Waylon needs another grandma I can stand in!’
“You CANNOT hold your baby too much. You CANNOT spoil a baby. They are only this little for a short time… so soak it up!” Which could not be more accurate. I made him, so if I want to go into his room at 2am when I can’t sleep and rock with him on my chest, dammit I’ll do it. Don’t judge me.
Then, completely unprovoked I could tell she got a little emotional. As she told me how wonderful and fulfilling motherhood is she also gave me some words of wisdom. And I had no idea that it would turn out to be the best advice I would ever get. It went something like this…
You hold that baby. Because when you’re holding him, nothing else in this world takes precedence. Nothing else in this world matters. In that moment, its just you and him and you hold on to that. No matter what’s going on in your life. No matter what’s going on in your home. No matter what’s going on at work. No matter if you’re stressed, or sad, or grieving, or happy, you go hold that baby. No matter what is going on in this world, you go hold that baby. It helps.
Fast-forward to today.
This week was a sad week for our country. As of now, 59 people dead and over 500 injured in Las Vegas at the Route 91 Music Festival. I recall sitting in bed Monday morning, and just staring at the news in disbelief. This is something my husband and I would go to. Jason Aldean is, hands down, my favorite person to see in concert, and he was on stage when people started dying. How can people do this to other human beings?
A million thoughts running through your mind as you just watch the latest roll in on your news feed, feeling helpless and sickened at the though of this being reality. Monday was a somber day. I work in the gun industry. I hunt. We have a lot of weapons in our home. We understand the way firearms work, the laws associated with them. The power behind them. A tragedy like this is simply heartbreaking. I’m not sure of another way to describe it.
As I crawled into bed on Monday night, I found myself in thought. Like, one of those days where all day long you just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep because the world sucks, but then when you actually get into bed, your mind is like ‘oh hey, lets go zero to sixty with our thoughts right now’. I found myself tossing and turning and looking at my phone. Nothing was helping. I was sad. I was thinking. I was overwhelmed. And in that moment, I thought about what my former coworker had said almost 8 months ago.
I got up. Walked into Waylon’s bedroom. *GENTLY* picked him up. And we rocked. I snuggled him. I smelled his head. I rubbed his back and his hair. I cried. He nuzzled up into my neck and that was that. She was right.
Moms and Dads, Go hold your babies. It helps.
Sending loving and healing thoughts to victims, families, the Las Vegas community and all of those affected by this weeks tragedy.
If you want to know how to help and can afford to donate even $5 to the victim fund, the link is below.