Have you ever made the decision that completely altered your life’s definition of normal? We all have, Right?
Could be anything, from big to small. Changed your diet? Gone back to school? Changed careers? Decided to grow your family? New parents? Retire? Join a gym?
Whatever that decision may be, big or small, it’s not easy.
Let me repeat. It’s. Not. Easy.
Forming a new habit, adjusting to a new norm, finding your groove, it’s not easy. It takes a lot of sacrifice, a lot of patience and a little grace.
Please y’all, allow yourself some grace. I recently decided to take on a second job. Not because my family is struggling, not because I’m a glutton for punishment, but because this time next year I want to be in a better financial state than I am today. I literally have this giant smoggy cloud of dread and gloom over my head 24/7/365 that I refer to as Student Loan Debt.
Some call it the Grim Reaper Debt because it will follow you to the grave. Ok, maybe only I think of it that way, but it’s a thing, it’s ugly, and I’m so sick of it. When you go to college without much guidance of the process and few resources at your disposal, who saves the day? Student Loans.
So this mom has decided to commit to double duty. A couple evenings a week and every other Saturday I’ve committed to a ‘side hustle’. Not my favorite term but by definition that is where it defaults. This decision has spiraled my life about 180 degrees from the ‘norm’ we had 45 days ago.
THEN- At least 5 evenings a week were spent as family time and late night gym sessions with my Beau. Getting swole and pumping the iron. You know, badass stuff. THIS is my happy place.
NOW- The gym has (to my dismay) taken a temporary backseat. I’m spending time focusing on my side-gig so that I can get to a comfortable place to find a new norm. And due to the added responsibility, I’m finding myself spending more and more time with my little ones.
Maybe I’m just more in tune to this, but it’s really made me realize how little I get to see them as a working mom in the first place. So today, I find myself on my off evenings wanting to ‘snug’ with my small fry until we are both in a zombie-like comatose state of sleep. This is healthy! I’m allowed a break! I know myself and I know that the gym will always be there but until a new norm sets in, I’m OK with being more lax than usual with my routine.
THEN- I would find myself online shopping with downtime. Adding so many lavish and trendy things to my large selection of shopping carts online. Honestly, you open up a shopping site on my phone and there is a strong likelihood I have item(s) in the cart. I like to call this ‘The Internet Window Shopping Experience’. Inevitably it lead to the purchase of items that I later questioned my thought process in buying and ultimately could do without.
NOW – AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. I am too busy to sit and window shop. So not only do I find myself making additional income, I’m finding myself with less time to dispose of it. Not that I don’t have self control, but c’mon, I’m female and shopping is in our DNA. #itsafact
The drawback to this notion of working multiple jobs is like I said before, It’s not easy. It’s time consuming. It’s tiring. It pushes into your ‘free-time’ (wait, what is that?), it requires sacrificing some of your wants for the success of your responsibilities, it requires you to be mentally tough and focus on the positives.
Household chores sometimes take a back seat OR better yet, a younger version of myself luckily is inagurated into a new role of Dish Washer, Trash Guy, Carpet Connoiseur, The Dust Destroyer. (By the way, giving them cooler names than what they are does not deminish the risk in attitude recieved at the knighting, Nor does it increase the excitement of the individual being sworn into their new duties). But it’s not all bad, the kids are learning life skills, right?!
Some nights I feed my kids hot dogs. *GASP*
At least a fed my kids in the 30 minutes I was home between jobs and was able to give them a kiss and knucks on my way out the door.
Literally every single thing we do in life has ups and downs. Upsides and drawbacks. Give and take. This is no different.
When you commit to something, do it. Like don’t just go through the motions. Actually try and put forth real effort to do it well. Don’t just do it. Do it well.
< That’s right, I said it. Look at me all motivational up in here.>
And for the love of Pete, give yourself some grace. Adjusting to a new norm is hard. Maintaining boundaries between work, home, family, fun, sanity.. it’s hard. Allow yourself some frustration. Allow yourself some mistakes. Allow yourself some down time. Damn, Allow yourself a whiskey.
Just keep the end goal in mind. Be thankful for the opportunity to better your life versus resent the opportunity. Use it as a constant reminder that hard work pays off. Remind yourself of your accomplishments and forgive yourself for mistakes.
In short, give yourself grace, give yourself credit and give yourself a whiskey.
To quote the great Rihanna:
Work, work, work, work, work, work.